...and certainly not her last.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
just what South Africa needs...
I've found the answer to all of South Africa's problems with violence and racial tension in this simple poem by Shel Silverstein:
" I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
instead of tugs,
where everyone giggles
and rolls on the rug,
where everyone kisses,
and everyone grins,
and everyone cuddles,
and everyone wins."
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
instead of tugs,
where everyone giggles
and rolls on the rug,
where everyone kisses,
and everyone grins,
and everyone cuddles,
and everyone wins."
*****
In other news, I went with the lay counselors last week to turn in their application to apply as an Non-profit organization. It has been a dream of theirs for over two years, so it was quite momentous. We also had a little celebration for the arrival of our lay counselling training certificates. Other than that and a couple more meetings with them this week, where I will wrap up my training on writing a strategic plan, I'm a complete waste of space, due to the fact that Im America bound next week!! Soooo excited, soooo distracted.
Ke tla go bona ka next week!
- Bontle/ Heather
In other news, I went with the lay counselors last week to turn in their application to apply as an Non-profit organization. It has been a dream of theirs for over two years, so it was quite momentous. We also had a little celebration for the arrival of our lay counselling training certificates. Other than that and a couple more meetings with them this week, where I will wrap up my training on writing a strategic plan, I'm a complete waste of space, due to the fact that Im America bound next week!! Soooo excited, soooo distracted.
Ke tla go bona ka next week!
- Bontle/ Heather
Saturday, September 12, 2009
High School, Peace Corps style
These past couple weeks Ive been in and out of the village for various Peace Corps trainings, and the time spent with my fellow Americans pretty much solidified my creeping suspicion that being in Peace Corps is kind of like going through those awkward high school years all over again. You body is going through weird changes you can't seem to explain or understand. You spend hours alone in your room listening to angsty music by candle light. You have wild, emotional mood swings... one minute you're ecstatic with joy, and five minutes later you're balling your eyes out. ( and ten minutes after that you realize you've gone through your last roll of single-ply toilet paper and must devise a plan to reuse some of the less wet ones for the outcome of the upset stomach you've just given yourself).
There's also a very high school-like social structure to Peace Corps... every six months new volunteers come in, so youve got freshman, sophomores, juniors, and Seniors. The freshmen look up to and admire the upperclassmen, but at the same time think they're assholes for acting like they know everything... until the freshman become sophomores and realize they know sooo much more than the freshly arrived volunteers... and tell them so. In Peace Corps South Africa High School, I am now a sophomore, and I definitely feel like the freshman should listen to me. Because what do they know about keepin' it real in South Africa? And dont they understand Im only trying to help them? Dont they understand anything Im trying to say? No, of course not. Because this is high school and "no one understands me". Ah, back to feeling misunderstood by the world. The newly arrived volunteers wont understand because my own friends dont understand. I mean, its one thing to not be understood by South Africans, but to not be understood by fellow Americans? Eish!
Its that vicious cycle of analytical thought all over again. Except this time I suppose I have the foresight to realize Im behaving as if Im in high school. And i realize its silly to expect everyone to understand each other all the time.. Especially in Peace Corps South Africa High School, where everyone's situation is so entirely different and there are a million different factors both within and out of our control that make it so. And I dont really have much to say to the new volunteers, because most of what they will experience will be completely different from my experience.
Im not saying Ive stopped listening to angsty music. What I am saying is that I'm trying to own the feeling that I dont need to be understood all the time. I think life could be more enjoyable, where ever you are, if you stop yourself from trying to make people understand who you are and what you do. If you stop trying to change other people's perspectives and just focus on your own individual growth and learning process instead, while being observant and respectful of other people's experiences. Im also saying that from now on, I'm buying my one-ply toilet paper in bulk and stashing some away for a, uh, rainy day.
There's also a very high school-like social structure to Peace Corps... every six months new volunteers come in, so youve got freshman, sophomores, juniors, and Seniors. The freshmen look up to and admire the upperclassmen, but at the same time think they're assholes for acting like they know everything... until the freshman become sophomores and realize they know sooo much more than the freshly arrived volunteers... and tell them so. In Peace Corps South Africa High School, I am now a sophomore, and I definitely feel like the freshman should listen to me. Because what do they know about keepin' it real in South Africa? And dont they understand Im only trying to help them? Dont they understand anything Im trying to say? No, of course not. Because this is high school and "no one understands me". Ah, back to feeling misunderstood by the world. The newly arrived volunteers wont understand because my own friends dont understand. I mean, its one thing to not be understood by South Africans, but to not be understood by fellow Americans? Eish!
Its that vicious cycle of analytical thought all over again. Except this time I suppose I have the foresight to realize Im behaving as if Im in high school. And i realize its silly to expect everyone to understand each other all the time.. Especially in Peace Corps South Africa High School, where everyone's situation is so entirely different and there are a million different factors both within and out of our control that make it so. And I dont really have much to say to the new volunteers, because most of what they will experience will be completely different from my experience.
Im not saying Ive stopped listening to angsty music. What I am saying is that I'm trying to own the feeling that I dont need to be understood all the time. I think life could be more enjoyable, where ever you are, if you stop yourself from trying to make people understand who you are and what you do. If you stop trying to change other people's perspectives and just focus on your own individual growth and learning process instead, while being observant and respectful of other people's experiences. Im also saying that from now on, I'm buying my one-ply toilet paper in bulk and stashing some away for a, uh, rainy day.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Health Carnival Event
whoa, dang, its been a long time since my last blog post... its also been a long time since Ive had the head space to sit down and write one. But there's a little bit o' room up there right now so here it is for all you impatient assholes ( love ya!):
These past couple weeks I had been coordinating a "Health Carnival and 3.5K Fun Walk/Run" in my village, as mentioned in previous blogs. The two other people i had been coordinating with
both fell ill for two entire weeks before the event, so i was left to coordinate the event all by my lonesome. While we had been holding stakeholder's meetings for a couple months before the event, very little action happens in regards to said event until right before it is to take place.. so not much had been done before my counterparts became sick, with everything left until three weeks before the event to follow-up and get moving on. I was trying to keep the Youth Centre open by myself, coordinate the Health Carnival, and attend the lay counselor's thrice weekly meetings ( which, by the way, is still going quite well). So needless to say I was having a hard time managing all three responsibilities. 
Some how, though, it all came together and we had a fabulous event. Of course, it started over two hours late, the program was completely changed from what all of the stakeholders had agreed on, and some critical supplies that we had been told was approved in the budget was actually never approved. But these things were all expected to happen, because guess
what? This is Africa. And thats how they roll here... so instead of fighting against everyone and demanding that things be the neat and orderly and efficient American way, I rolled with them. I had been been so stressed the weeks before the event, trying to make sure everything was covered. How silly all my stress was. On the day of the event it was so nice to let go of control, trust the people I had been working with, and just let the event happen. Maybe about 300 people showed up in total, mostly youth and Gogos ( grannies). Everyone had an amazing time, and we had sports, games, singing, dancing, performances, health talks,prizes, all in all a really awesome time. We also had an HIV/AIDS testing drive and a Diabetes testing drive. and get this... this is what i am most proud of :154 people got tested for HIV at the health carnival!!
I am completely blow away by this number. I never expected this many people to get tested. We had six different rooms for testing, and they were full the entire time. and more people wanted to get tested after the drive finished. I am so proud of us. What a great way to start off my Peace Corps service. :)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Complex Simplicity II
You, take II: " we would talk about truth(s) and beauty and fascination...we would not only accept, but revel in the wonders of momentous life...we would never forget how to stand in awe of everything. atman and brahman would finally equal one another and both terms would lose all context...everything would lose all context and we would finally talk about what actually matters to us...whatever that might be."
I went to my fave Chinese restaurant in town today after taking care of some Health Carnival Biznass... I got there not so much for the food, but for the woman, Lisa, who works there. She is one of my favorite people in South Africa and we always have a jolly ol' time, each and every time. I love how I've adopted the ability of mirroring other people's speech and body language and expressions. I suppose its a part of being the only native English speaker almost everywhere I go. It incredibly how much more you can communicate with others if you stop trying to make them understand your way of communicating and just adopt their way instead. So with Lisa, i get to speak in broken English, and its so much fun! " Me no come tomorrow for atofu. Me come only next week. Me no money come tomorrow. Me phone you quickly for afresh atofu." are how our convos go. And we dont only talk about tofu.. oh no, we talk about life and relationships and love and 'God' and everything.
Another reason i love this woman is because she has the most interesting friends and I usually meet other quirky characters when I frequent this hole in the wall. Today I met an absolutely amazing person. After shaking hands, we immediately launched in to conversations about our passions, about seeing the universe and the things in it with our hearts and not our eyes, the amazing effect the laughter of children has on us, our powerful connection with nature, and how we both lay in a bucket of water when stressed...yes, Ive met another leghoa (spelling?) who enjoys a good bucket bath!
The most brilliant woman in my life- the one with the brilliant response above- told me to stop looking for answers and to just start looking.. to just reach out into the universe and often you will find not only what you were looking for, but what you didnt even know you needed. Ive been stressing lately over a few Ausi's behavior and chaotic energy in the village lately, and have been trying to figure out a way to better understand them, connect with them, accept them. In conversation with my new friend, he said something.. something that helps to answer my question regarding these two Ausis... he said that even in people that he doesnt understand or get along with, he finds the tiniest point, the smallest bit of beauty in them, and he focuses on that.. he doesnt see the rest of their ugliness, he only sees the beauty within them.. and even the worst people you can think of have something beautiful inside of them. I started laughing and told him how the universe had just provided for me by having us meet that day.. I got so much more than the answer to the question buzzing in my head. He is really involved in sustainable farming, etc. and has many sponsors and people to put me in contact with, and another Ausi has been wanting to start a project centered around sustainable farming.. I just reached out like you said and all of these things fell into place. Oh, the things you can learn when you allow yourself to...
I went to my fave Chinese restaurant in town today after taking care of some Health Carnival Biznass... I got there not so much for the food, but for the woman, Lisa, who works there. She is one of my favorite people in South Africa and we always have a jolly ol' time, each and every time. I love how I've adopted the ability of mirroring other people's speech and body language and expressions. I suppose its a part of being the only native English speaker almost everywhere I go. It incredibly how much more you can communicate with others if you stop trying to make them understand your way of communicating and just adopt their way instead. So with Lisa, i get to speak in broken English, and its so much fun! " Me no come tomorrow for atofu. Me come only next week. Me no money come tomorrow. Me phone you quickly for afresh atofu." are how our convos go. And we dont only talk about tofu.. oh no, we talk about life and relationships and love and 'God' and everything.
Another reason i love this woman is because she has the most interesting friends and I usually meet other quirky characters when I frequent this hole in the wall. Today I met an absolutely amazing person. After shaking hands, we immediately launched in to conversations about our passions, about seeing the universe and the things in it with our hearts and not our eyes, the amazing effect the laughter of children has on us, our powerful connection with nature, and how we both lay in a bucket of water when stressed...yes, Ive met another leghoa (spelling?) who enjoys a good bucket bath!
The most brilliant woman in my life- the one with the brilliant response above- told me to stop looking for answers and to just start looking.. to just reach out into the universe and often you will find not only what you were looking for, but what you didnt even know you needed. Ive been stressing lately over a few Ausi's behavior and chaotic energy in the village lately, and have been trying to figure out a way to better understand them, connect with them, accept them. In conversation with my new friend, he said something.. something that helps to answer my question regarding these two Ausis... he said that even in people that he doesnt understand or get along with, he finds the tiniest point, the smallest bit of beauty in them, and he focuses on that.. he doesnt see the rest of their ugliness, he only sees the beauty within them.. and even the worst people you can think of have something beautiful inside of them. I started laughing and told him how the universe had just provided for me by having us meet that day.. I got so much more than the answer to the question buzzing in my head. He is really involved in sustainable farming, etc. and has many sponsors and people to put me in contact with, and another Ausi has been wanting to start a project centered around sustainable farming.. I just reached out like you said and all of these things fell into place. Oh, the things you can learn when you allow yourself to...
Monday, August 3, 2009
Meditation
***
I close my eyes and let my heart do its work. It clangs against my sternum, steadily gaining speed and intensity to help it achieve its goal. My chest cracks open and my heart flutters upwards, perching itself on that light fixture I've been meaning to fix for weeks. It beats in rhythm with the music floating from my bedroom, with the jumbled syllables of my baby brother's first words, with the twitch of my pup's paws as she runs after the chickens in her dreams... it beats with the rhythm of the universe.
I tilt my head back and let my blood spill to the floor. It trickles down my stomach, pooling in my belly button before creating a larger puddle on the floor, underneath the light fixture where my heart is perched. The reflection of my beating heart creates waves in the pool of dark red liquid, causing it to ripple outwards. Red and white blood cells, platelets, and plasma coat my tiled floor and begin searching for cracks in the walls to seep through. They find them without much trouble and pulse their way to the fruit trees and piles of dog shit that line my house.
With the viscous liquid out of its way, the sun shines through me and sets my internal organs on fire. I burst into flames, into infinite energy, and i join the photons on their journey throughout the cosmos...
***
dreams, poems, and life-long friends
I had a dream the other night that I was some how back in The States. i was really pissed off and kept telling everyone, " Why am I here?! I'm not supposed to be here, I'm supposed to be in South Africa!" and I was trying to get a flight back to RSA but there were no openings. i woke up smiling at the realization that in my life right now, Im not supposed to be any where but here.
***
Some fellow PCVs dropped some Shel Silverstein books off for the Youth Centre to keep. This particular poem really speaks to me...
"draw a crazy picture,
write a nutty poem,
sing a mumble-gumble song,
whistle through your comb.
do a loony-goony dance
'cross the kitchen floor,
put something silly in the world
that aint been there before."
- Shel Silverstein
write a nutty poem,
sing a mumble-gumble song,
whistle through your comb.
do a loony-goony dance
'cross the kitchen floor,
put something silly in the world
that aint been there before."
- Shel Silverstein
***
I've made some incredible South African friends these past couple of weeks. They're the kind of friends i know will be in my life forever, especially since I plan on eventually living on their plot of land when i come back to South Africa to work.
I've made some incredible South African friends these past couple of weeks. They're the kind of friends i know will be in my life forever, especially since I plan on eventually living on their plot of land when i come back to South Africa to work.
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